Last week I received Contempt papers for not doing things His Way…meaning, I refuse to travel 20 hours 1 weekend a month so that he can have an hour and a half supervised visit. I had to pack up my entire house in two days so that I can leave it for the bank to take, saying good-bye to any equity or alimony it would have provided. We have lots going on with my family; my mother and my grandmother and every aunt and uncle on that side. Life is changing in big ways.
And I sit here and smile serenely, kicking the ass out of my to-do list, and smiling through it all. Why? Cuz being in love feels good and though I know this phase wears off eventually, I want to milk it for all it’s worth right now!
Then again…we’ve been in this phase since early August and there is really not any indication that it will slow down anytime very soon.
He’s wonderful. He just helped me move, gave selflessly, had a blast with my family…. I want to spend hours listing everything that I adore about him. I want to put his picture up everywhere. I like to smell his clothes when I sleep. He texts me all day and we tell jokes and we laugh and then he cooks me lamb chops and we ride in his kayak and let the trickling water do most of the talking. Then we take over and converse long past midnight and then hold each other for hours. Then we sleep and make breakfast and giggle with my children.
How ever long it lasts, this wasn’t present in the “courting” days of my marriage. I never had this giddy high in a reciprocal way. It’s beautiful, intoxicating, lovely. It’s fun and hydrating and I just feel like singing.
That will probably look funny in court.

4 comments
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November 13, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Susan
One word says it all…WOOHOO!
Smiling with you and jealous of all the Kayakking!
Love,
Susan
November 30, 2008 at 4:59 am
Amira
I have had your blog posted on mine for months. I am just now reading yours after checking it out the first time long ago.
Your writing is wonderful, eloquent and conveys a lot of feelings and thoughts that I can identify with.
I, too, left my ex (boyfriend, not husband) two years ago this time. Your description of your ex reminds me of mine…abusive, mentally unstable, insane, unaware of the damage he continues to cause…
I am grateful for you that you have found new life. I lift you up to Grace and pray for your continued healing and protection.
December 4, 2008 at 1:50 am
Sarah @ Ordinary Days
I’m so happy for you too!
February 17, 2009 at 10:58 pm
Chris
Hi.
I found your blog by accident and wanted to thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings so honestly and openly. I’ve also come through a divorce recently and although things were nowhere near as messy as your situation, it’s still never fun.
Thank you for writing about your journey of rediscovery… I hope your new life brings you great happiness.
Chris